Mushy Monday - You are my Sunshine

Tonight as a I put Tommy to bed I was remembering when he had his heart surgery. I started a post about his surgery right after he had it but I never finished it...and I don't want to. I want to remember God's goodness to us in his surgery and the blessing of him being able to have his heart fixed, but I don't want to dwell on the details. In one way it feels like he never had heart surgery and almost like it was a dream. On the other hand if I sit and really think about it and go back to those memories, my chest tightens and I get a big lump in my throat. I've always been the kind of person who relives their emotions when they remember things, it can be good and bad thing. In this case I'd say it's a bad thing. Anyway enough serious negativity, the sweet thing I hope I never forget is how each time Tommy would start to get fussy, I'd get right next to his ear (b/c we weren't in a private room, curtains were are walls in the PICU) and I would sing, "You are my sunshine." I sing this to Tommy every day at his nap time. But I have changed the words, first verse is always you are my sunshine, then you are my baby, then you are my Tommy. And I change the end, instead of, "Please don't take my sunshine away," it is "Oh please be my sunshine always".

Anyhow I never really knew if Tommy liked the song, I just sang it anyway. And now I feel like it's his special song, I haven't even sung it to Silas b/c I feel like it would be cheating on Tommy haha! But when he had his surgery, there were times when his medicine would be wearing off, or he was just restless and he would start to fuss and squirm. And I would get right next to that precious ear and start singing and I would rub his head and he would immediately calm down. Oh how I felt that bond of being his mom and him being my son. My voice in a song he was so used to hearing comforted him when nothing else seemed like it would. I feel and felt so blessed to have that connection and ability to love him in that way. I can't even tell you how many times I sang that to him while we were at the hospital but apparently our neighbors, the people on the other side of the curtain, could hear me. Their daughter had gotten a little stuffed duck that sang "you are my sunshine" and they wanted Tommy to see it.

And now at nap time I still sing it to him. I am so so so thankful that he had the surgery and is thriving so well. We can really tell that he is growing so much more now. When he was 12 months old he weighed 19lbs, when he had the surgery he was still right around 19 lbs and he was 22 months old. Now he is 24lbs and growing and he's 27 months. He wore his 12 month summer clothes for right around a year, longer I think, and we just boxed those clothes up and he's moving into 24 month shirts and Pj's but still wearing 12-18 month shorts and pants. But I won't complain about him taking longer to grow, I actually kind of enjoyed it, I got to cherish his young age longer. At the rate Silas is growing, he'll be wearing the clothes I just boxed up from Tommy in the fall.

I know all my mushy posts have been about the kids lately, but they're a huge part of my life, and they bring so much meaning and purpose to my life. I am so glad the Lord has entrusted us with both Tommy and Silas.

Check out our healthy growing boy!!