The Wonder of the Cross

This is probably my favorite song. If you can listen to it and not raise your hands - you're crazy. Here's a link to listen to it - I like the song without the video (personally).

http://youtu.be/qvP4ongeNN0 
 
Wonder of the Cross (By Bethany Dillon and Matt Hammitt)

Oh, precious sight, my Savior stands  
Dying for me with outstretched hands 
Oh, precious sight, I love to gaze  
Remembering salvation's day  
Remembering salvation's day
Though my eyes linger on this scene 
May passing time and years not steal  
The power with which it impacts me  
The freshness of it's mystery  
The freshness of it's mystery
 
May I never lose the wonder  
The wonder of the cross  
May I see it like the first time  
Standing as a sinner lost
Undone by mercy and left speechless  
Watching wide eyed at the cost 
May I never lose the wonder  
The wonder of the cross
 
Behold the God man crucified  
The perfect sinless sacrifice 
As blood ran down those nails and wood 
History was split in two  
Yes, history was split in two
Behold the empty wooden tree  
His body gone, alive and free  
We sing with everlasting joy  
For sin and death have been destroyed 
Yeah, sin and death have been destroyed
 
May I never lose the wonder  
The wonder of the cross  
May I see it like the first time 
Standing as a sinner lost
Undone by mercy and left speechless  
Watching wide eyed at the cost  
May I never lose the wonder  
The wonder of the cross  
May I never lose the wonder 
The wonder of the cross

Mushy Monday - Dancing

I had hoped to share some videos of the boys but apparently this great website won't allow it. My blog may soon be looking for a new home. Boo - frustrating.

Anyway there is a super sweet story from this week that I wanted to share anyway. Tommy loves to dance! Usually it consists of him spinning around and around and around in circles until he gets really dizzy and basically falls down. He'll "snap" (tries to snap) while he spins, he claps, he shakes his hands, he points his fingers in the air, he'll pat his legs, he'll pat his head - all while spinning. It's pretty darn cute. Well his love started out for dancing when I would hold him and we would dance but we don't do that as often any more b/c frankly it wears me out. It's good exercise. Yesterday I had Pandora on - Tom loves oldies music, it's his favorite. Anyway I was sitting in the recliner b/c I had a headache and my sweet baby came up to me and took both my hands and was asking me to dance with him. Melt my heart. I couldn't resist. I picked him up and we danced around the room. Some day this kid might be too cool to dance with his mom. I say might b/c I mean really - can a mom get much cooler than this?! Haha just kidding! I know he won't always want to dance with me. But I felt like he was such a little gentleman how he came up and gently took me by the hands. Precious boy.

Sweet Silas baby is doing all kinds of things this month. He started signing "more" (especially for puffs) and clapping his hands today! My little chubby cheeked man! He is a cutie pie!

Tommy also figured out how to climb up his slide this week! Woohoo! Kyle brought his slide in from outside - I cleaned it off - and Tom's been having a ball. It's fun but it takes up way to much room in the house. Some day we hope to have a big play room where we can have fun things like that in the house all the time.

Here are my little sweetie pies! Getting so big - Tom is 2 years and 9 months old and Silas is 8 months old here.

Mushy Monday!

Sorry for no pictures recently, the IPad won't let me upload them on the blog. Boo. I'm currently not in a mushy mood the past couple of days Silas has been fussy. Not all day, praise The Lord, but for a good chunk of time here & there. He was just fussing up a storm before bed, one of those nights your not sad to put your kids to bed. Tom has been great though, I think The Lord is so kind to me in that its typically only one kid struggling at a time.

Ok my mushy memory is Tommy's new found love for our dog Maggie. He goes over to where ever she's laying down in the house lays flat on his belly & gets face to face with her. So cute! Then he sits up & puts his hands out for her to lick, then his feet, then he puts his head down because he likes her to lick the top of his head not his face (thankfully). It's like he's her little puppy & she's giving him a bath. It somewhat grosses me out at times but it makes them both happy & it's super cute! He loves to pick up her chew toy/bone and take it to her wherever she is in the house. And he likes to take it away from her & tease her with it. She is always so gentle & sweet to Tommy too. I hope Tommy has one of those really sweet & close relationships some people have with their pets, for some reason I have never experienced that but have always wanted to.

I also look forward to a time when the boys will care for Maggie & I don't have too!!!! I don't wish the time away though, it blows my mind that Tom will be THREE years old in April! It just doesn't seem possible!

The grass is green on both sides!

I have been thinking about how Tommy has an extra chromosome. Usually when you have extra of something it's a good thing. Extra brownies = always a good thing. Extra money is pretty nice. Extra time is always a plus. But this extra chromosome Tom has creates challenges for him & makes typical things harder for him. Doesn't that seem weird? Something we can't see inside of his body that he was born with makes it harder for him to speak, to have natural coordination, etc.

Anyway it has been such a blessing to have Tommy with DS and Silas without it. The Lord is showing me that the grass is beautifully green on both sides! I am thankful for Silas' insane muscle tone, that he is belly crawling, able to hold a cup, babble three distinct noises (mama,dada,nana). But at the same time I feel kind of bad for Silas because to be honest his accomplishments aren't quite as exciting. And it's not b/c he is the second child, it's because with Tommy we had to work sooooooo hard to help him figure these things out & some he still can't do (the babbling). I am proud of Silas! He is so strong, handsome, and smart - just like his big brother! I am continually amazed at how Silas figures out how to get to the toys he wants & then play with that toy for such a long time! I have found myself saying to Kyle - man it just doesn't seem fair, parents that don't have kids with special needs will never know what a miracle it is that their kids can figure these things out so quickly & virtually on their own. So I am blessed to see both sides - to see how through time & effort we can teach Tommy to do all of these things & to learn patience & how amazing our chromosomes are to function in our body & tell us how to do everyday things - like using our hands together (that's a big challenge for Tommy right now.) And then with Silas I get to see how his chromosomes make him genetically inclined to figure these things out. It's amazing! And don't get me wrong I get excited when Silas does new stuff but it is different, and different is not bad.

I have also been learning why it is that so many moms of kids with DS seemed so "sensitive" before. It's b/c a lot of people who don't have the opportunity to know or get to know Tommy will only see him as having DS. I don't know if this will make sense to everyone else or not. But if you know Tommy he has such a sweet, funny, and individual personality! Basically you don't know Tommy unless you spend time with him. So just b/c you know things about DS does not mean you know Tom. Does that make sense? I think that's the way it comes across a lot, that b/c people have a family member, friend, or just "love" people with DS does not mean they know Tommy. That would be like saying oh I know a boy, so I know Silas. No you don't.  Because Silas is a specific boy & Tommy is a specific boy. Now granted there are common "boyish" traits - being rough, tough, mischievous. And there are common DS traits too but there's a lot more to it than that. Anyhow I'm thankful for this better understanding & ability to relate to other moms who have kids with special needs. And the majority of the time Tommy doesn't seem like he has special needs to me.

God is amazing how He designs our body to function! Don't forget to thank The Lord for the many things you do each day without even thinking about it, and the many things your sweet children do too - special needs or no special needs. It is truly amazing! The grass is beautiful! (Too corny? I don't care!)

5 things

Through out my busy day of taking care of everyone in the household, including the dog, I tend to mentally complain. So to help combat that urge I want to think about 5 things I love & am thankful for in each person in our house, even the dog.

Kyle:
1. His sense of humor - he always makes me laugh
2. How he spends time with us - we love when we have good shows to watch on Netflix together
3. The way he loves & plays with the boys
4. When he gives me a break by taking a kid off my hands for a while
5. The way he provides for our family by working & by his leadership

Tommy:
1. His sweet & caring personality - he is so affectionate
2. His laughter!
3. The way he LOVES to dance
4. How precious & kind he is to Silas
5. The way he surprises me each day with how smart he is

Silas:
1. Those cheeks! That smile! Those eyes!
2. How strong & mobile he is
3. The sweet noises he babbles
4. The way he LOVES his big brother - melts my heart
5. How he loves tags, jumping, puffs, and ice

Maggie:
1. She's the prettiest dog I have ever seen
2. She is beyond amazing with the boys - Tommy will take her bone out of her mouth while she's chewing on it & she gently takes it back.
3. Tommy & Silas love her
4. She is submissive
5. She is smart for a dog ( I clarify saying dog b/c I wish she was people smart)

Everyday has different challenges but I praise The Lord for how He has blessed me through my family. Even on long, rough days there are still lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles, at least one good belly laugh from my boys, and most likely at least one dance party to some oldies music with Tommy. I am beyond grateful to be able to wrap my arms around my boys and love on them each day. They're asleep right now, I find I feel strong affection towards them at this time ;) I love my days with them, and I love nap & bed time too!

Mushy Monday - Long time no see

It's yet again official I stink at blogging. Oh well. Life goes on.

So my boys are growing up way too fast right before my eyes! Tommy will be 3 in April?! Say what?! How old am I? Old enough to have a three year old and another beautiful baby boy who is on his way to being 8 months old! Again, say what?! Haha I'm in a really random goofy mood, can you tell?

There are about a million mushy posts I could write so I'm scanning through my brain to think of things I don't want to forget, maybe if I blogged more often I wouldn't have to think so hard. Let's make a list of precious things to remember about my kids, here we go (feel free to join in or add on in your head or with a comment at the end of this post):

1.) The way Tommy says, "Bye" whenever I close my phone after texting, when I get off the phone with someone, when he closes the door to a room he is leaving, when he hears me from his room after nap time and I'm getting off the phone with someone (hilarious, little muffled "BYE" when I have no idea he's even listening)

2.) Silas boy is into EVERYTHING! This boy is going to be a handful. A handsome handful. I think he might be a little "troublemaker" in the sense that he's very adventurous and wants to explore anything he can get his hands on. He loves big kid toys, baby toys, things that aren't toys. He want to hold it, shake it, bite it, hit his head with it. He rolls everywhere to get into everything. He's speedy gonzaleze (how do you spell that?) (who cares how you spell that? not me)

3.) My heart melts every time my boys laugh at each other! The other day we caught Tommy out of his bed playing peek-a-boo through Silas' bumper on the baby bed. Silas totally told on him...with his loud belly laughs that we heard down the hall. One of the most precious memories I hope to store in my memory FOREVER! (FYI one of the few times Tommy has not received a spanking for getting out of bed when he was supposed to be falling asleep, who can spank a sweet big brother making his brother giggle?! Not this mom and dad!)

4.) I love putting my boys in matching outfits. They got several cute outfits for Christmas and I wish I could dress them alike every day. I never thought I would be that mom but I totally am.

5.) We listened to Bill Cosby comedy CDs on the way to and from St. Louis for Christmas. 5 Stars - I love my Bill!

6.) Kyle got a dozen krispy kreme donuts for Christmas. First, way to go with creativity mom and dad. Second, it was his favorite Christmas gift. And I'm glad he shared it with me.

7.) Some of these things in this list are not about my kids...are you still reading...

8.) Tommy is the best big brother in the world, I love to watch him be sweet to Silas. Sometimes he's a little rough with him but Silas is starting to think that's funny.

9.) My kids are obsessed with Signing Times DVDs. Yes I let my kids watch TV, I used to feel guilty but I try not to now, we don't just watch TV, and honestly I really enjoy watching TV.

10.) Silas is sitting up really well now! He still throws himself back though and so the boppy is always behind him. He's starting to belly crawl a little bit too. Oh and the nurse who gave him his shot at his 6 month check up (even though he was actually almost 7 months) said she thought he was really advanced for his age, socially. Did I mention he weighs 20 lbs?! Big boy! Oh and I'm starting to wean him, TMI? Stop reading then. Haha just kidding! I plan to make it a slow process so he takes one bottle a day around noon, he seems to like formula which is a blessing. He still hasn't had a tooth poke through but there are days when you can definitely tell it wants to.

11.) Tommy is getting so big and strong. His pants are starting to become high waters on him, so I need to invest in some 24 month pants. However this little skinny minny can't keep them up around his waste. So if you see him high waters, don't make fun of him, or I'll punch you. Just kidding I won't, but he might ;) Kyle's trying to teach him to play "box". Tommy usually ends up spinning in circles punching himself in the face, in a silly and fun way, not dangerously or violently - don't worry. He's a nut. Tommy loves to entertain and make people laugh. I was worried on our trip to St. Louis that he would just be shy the whole time and not be himself and that everyone would think that's how he always acted. Not true. He performed  like crazy. Including several repeat performances of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, in sign language, for everyone in the kitchen. He LOVED the applause and wanted to keep singing.

12.) I am so thankful for my husband. I have recently been thinking about what a gift marriage and a good Godly husband is. God has used Kyle to mold me and shape me into a far better woman than I was before he married me, and he chose to marry me back then?! Crazzzy. Kyle is my very best friend and closest confidant. I hope that a few years from now I will look back and see how the Lord has used him to encourage and grow me even more.

13.) The things that Tommy and Silas do that are just alike. For example - Silas' tongue is always out, just like big brother. Silas' tongue goes crazy when he's working hard at something, like Tom's. Their faces when they cry. They both love to play with the tags on toys - Silas loves them more than Tommy, but they both let them run over their hands and have a steady "eeeeeh" noise they make while they do it. How they will make a sound or noise with their mouth (mama, dada, etc.) and then stop for a long time and don't want to make it again for weeks or months or in Tommy's case years.

14.) Tommy loved climbing up the stairs and sliding down them in St. Louis. Until the point he had rug burn on his chin. My favorite memory was Aunt Rita Claire climbing up with him and his cousin Addy and then seeing her slide down the stairs with both in her lap. So sweet!

15.) Tommy love, love, loooves to have his back scratched.  He sits so still, like a statue and if you stop he signs more.  And now, he loves his shoulders rubbed! Who is this kid?!

The end. Hope you all had a Merry Christmas and a wonderful 2013!

(I would have uploaded a picture of the boys in matching outfits but the website is acting weird. Sorry.)

Mushy Monday - Dream Come True

There is just so much I want to write and remember!! I think what I’m going to try and do is divide up my post into a “non-mommy” section, a Tommy section, a Silas section, and a Kyle section. It may not always be exactly that way but I feel like it will help me keep it concise and help me to not leave anything out! Hopefully!


Okay non-mommy section that I have been thinking about ever since it happened. My day with Critter! A few weeks ago my best friend (apart from my hubby of course) came to visit from North Carolina. We got to spend one day together with our boys (she has a sweet little one year old) at my house and that was a blast. But the best day was by far the day my parents watched my boys and I got to spend the day with her and her baby just hanging out. We had Arby’s for lunch on her parents’ back deck in beautiful weather, we took it easy and hung out for a little bit, and then we went to Target, got cherry coke slushies at the gas station and hung out a little bit longer. Oh my word! This was quite literally a dream come true for me. I seriously day dream about being able to do things like this with her but never have the opportunity. And it was absolutely wonderful to be able to do it without the boys in tow. I was able to focus on her little guy and we didn’t have to figure out the logistics of getting three babies and two adults to Target and keeping them all happy at once, and so on. I loved our time together and I still think about it all the time. Sound obsessive much?! Oh well I don’t care, it was a perfect visit, and I doubt we will ever be able to top it, and that’s okay b/c it happening just once was so incredibly fun! A huge thank you to her for driving so far and enduring a lot of stress to do so to create so many great memories! And also to my parents for watching the boys, which they are always so sweet and quick to do!

Kyle – I love Kyle so very much! He knows absolutely nothing about music, well he knows very little. I don’t know a lot – such as who sings what song, but I know a decent amount of music and oldies, etc. The other night I was cleaning up the house and I came into his office and told him that sometimes I just want to bust out and sing clips of songs to him but I know he’d have no idea what I was talking about. And I started singing, “Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there’s no one else above you? You feel my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness, ease my troubles, that’s what you do…” And I kept singing until I didn’t know any more words. I said do you know that song? And he said, “No.” Haha – he had no idea. Then I sang it the rest of the time I cleaned. It was fun. I’ve decided I don’t care if he knows the song, he probably won’t listen anyway, but he will be serenaded from time to time – whether he likes it or not!



Tommy – Can I just tell you what an amazing big brother Tommy is developing into? I’m not gonna lie I get a little teary eyed thinking about it. I realize he’s 2 ½ but if his attitude towards his brother when he gets older is anything like it is now, I will be thrilled! He does some of it selfishly b/c he gets attention for it, but other times he does it completely on his own. Anyway I digress (I’ve always wanted to say that! And I just did.) So something I’ve come to realize as a parent is that there are things that Kyle and I find sweet and cute that Tommy does, but as he grows and changes he stops doing so many things that we kind of forget about them. Let me clarify. I used to dream about what it would be like when Tommy started walking, but in reality I had no idea. Once he started walking there would be little things that I would find so cute about him following me, etc. Now he walks so much and so well that I don’t even notice him following me. Well a precious thing he does that I want to remember is how we play this “knocking” game at his bedroom door. When Tom gets up from his nap he might just lay in bed and cry until I come get him, or he will get up and play for a little bit and when he’s done he’ll come and knock o his bedroom door – basically signaling “Mom, I’m done. Can you come let me out?!” Anyway the other day I was standing at the door and he would knock, then I would knock. And he can knock pretty well, but you can still tell it is the sweetest little knock of a child. I just stood there and smiled as he would knock, then I would knock, and he would giggle. Then he would knock, I would knock, and he would giggle. And then I would say, “Who’s there?!” And he’d respond, “Aaaaaah.” “Is that Tommy?!” “Aaaaah!” And more knocking. As I stood there I realized some day this game will stop and I will probably forget all about it b/c he will be big enough to open the door on his own. It’s kind of insane how fast he is growing up and into such a wonderful, sweet boy! I am so very blessed to be his Mama! It’s okay, be jealous, I’m sure God understands – I mean He’s the One who made Tommy so great ;)

Silas – Oh my Silas boy! How you are growing into such a big and handsome little guy! He has the most charming little eyes you have ever seen! Silas has been a little fussy lately – especially Sunday – the time change is not our friend. I really have no idea how many times I fed that kid that day just to keep him happy. I don’t typically do this b/c I don’t want him to think if he fusses he gets a snack, but I knew his whole schedule was off and quite frankly I was too tired to fight it. While he’s been a little fussy, he is still such a happy boy. He LOVES his big brother to pieces! And that is also an encouragement to Tommy b/c he sees & hears Silas laugh and grin at him and it makes him want to play with him more. Silas started saying “Mama” this week – just jabbering of course and also “Nana”. Kyle said Tommy is now his favorite b/c Silas has chosen his side. (Tommy said Dada first and waited a very long time to say Mama.) The other night I had such a sweet time with Silas and Tommy. Silas is getting pretty active and playful. So I had Silas in the bumbo with the tray on it, he was playing with a couple of toys and patting/banging on the tray, while Tommy and I threw the football (which he is getting super good at throwing and catching…yes sir, my boy can catch. He’s pretty much a pro. Gonna make us millions.) and we played trucks. Both boys were happy and playing and I was thoroughly enjoying it! So much of my time is spent in taking care of the boys that at the end of the day that feels like all I’ve done, I’ve cared for them – changed their diapers, fed them, pacified them, even played with them – but I haven’t really enjoyed it. That might sound terrible to you, or it might sound relatable – either way it’s the truth of how I feel. I know I am caring well for them but I want to enjoy, I know time is already flying by and I don’t want to take it for granted, but it’s impossible for me to enjoy all my time with them. And to clarify I immensely enjoy being with them and being able to stay home with them and care for them – but it’s so busy and one thing right after the other that it’s hard to focus on having “fun”. And I mean when I try to have fun – that’s not when those special times happen, they occur naturally at random times – sometimes it’s a good amount of time like 30 minutes to an hour, like what I just described above, but that’s rare – that’s a long time. Usually we have 10 minutes here or there where I get some good belly laughs out of them, or they just make me laugh b/c they are seriously funny. So when I do have those sweet moments I do try to cherish them! Silas is growing so fast, just like big brother, and I am so thankful God added him to our family – I used to think what will life be like with another one, how will this work – but now I can’t even imagine what it was like before he was here, it seems like he’s always been with us.

Sheeew, Mushy Mondays hopefully won’t always be this long.