Mushy Monday

Oh where, oh where has my baby gone?!
My little 16 month old is turning into such a big boy! He's wearing big boy socks and shoes. His socks are just like Daddy's!

With Tommy having Down Syndrome it has been a blessing in the sense that we have gotten to fully enjoy him being a baby. Kyle has always told me that he is glad Tommy isn't too mobile yet b/c we're getting a long stage of what everybody loves - a sweet, fun baby who you don't have to chase every where. Tommy still isn't too mobile just yet, he gets where he wants to go, but thankfully he doesn't go too far yet! But Kyle and I have both seen lately how much he is growing up. And we appreciate him getting older and are having so much fun watching even more of who Tommy is, coming out. He is laughing more, playing more, loving on us more, playing games, etc.

Anyway this week my big mushy/excited moment (apart from no surgery for a while) was when Tommy held his sippy cup! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAY times a bajillion! We have been working on this since he was about 9 months old and he is now 16 months old. But he looks like such a big boy holding his cup! And I LOVE it! I have been feeding this boy since birth and I have been looking forward to when he could help feed himself more. My selfish hope in this is that Kyle would be okay with feeding him more often now, but Kyle's helped with feeding him more ever since he started using a cup in his high chair. (Kyle didn't like feeding him a bottle b/c he didn't want to get spit up on afterwards).

Look at him holding his cup!

ADORABLE!

Okay mom, enough pictures, I'm trying to drink my water.

 After seeing those pictures you should feel mushy too! He was so proud of himself! Kyle and I cheered and clapped for him every time he stopped taking a drink and that encouraged him all the more!

And a word of encouragement to any other moms who have kids that don't want to hold their cup - Tommy recently started using his hands a lot more - picking up toys and putting them in a bucket, clapping, etc. And out of no where I just tried giving him his cup this week (b/c I had somewhat given up since we had no success with it before) and he just held on to it and drank! I wish one of his therapists would have explained that those things go hand in hand, as he plays and does more things with his hands that he might then hold his cup on his own, rather than just telling me to keep trying before.

We're so thankful for all that the Lord is doing in Tommy's life. And we are so thankful that God gave us Tommy b/c we're finding as he grows that we love him more and more as we get to know him. He is already such a stinker - he plays teasing games, where if you ask for a kiss he'll turn his head away but then turns back and will give you one. And his absolutely PRECIOUS laugh is so infectious! It is a helpful reminder to me that when you laugh during the day it makes you feel good! I know that sounds silly but every now and then Tommy, or someone else, will make me laugh and I realize, I haven't laughed in a while and that was great! And it's hard to explain but when Tommy makes me laugh it makes me feel even closer to him, like we're becoming such great friends. I could probably write a whole mushy post on that!

So if you haven't noticed, I love my kid! I love that he is getting bigger and more boyish b/c I desire to know him, his personality, and to see what the Lord will do with his life.

Surprising Cardiologist Appointment

Tommy was born with two holes in his heart. One pin hole called a VSD that the cardiologist thought would close on its own and an ASD which is a significant hole in the lower part of his atrial wall.  Well the VSD closed up about 9 months ago (2 appointments ago) and the ASD is highly unlikely to close without surgery. We have been told since Tommy was born that he would have to have surgery before he's 2 years old to repair the ASD. About 5-6 months ago at our last cardiologist appointment the doctor told us we would be taking pictures of Tommy's heart & getting the ball rolling for his surgery before RSV season (which starts in November) at his next appointment.

Well today was that appointment. The doctor did an echo and said everything looked good and he was very pleased with Tommy's growth. We sat in his office and chatted for a little bit and then he said he'd like to see us again in 6 months. At this point Kyle and I were so confused. I knew Kyle was about to say something so I let him go first. And he asked for clarification on why he was pushing for surgery this fall and now we're waiting another 6 months. Then the doctor explained that since Tommy's VSD closed, we didn't have to worry about irreversible damage and as long as Tommy keeps growing we can wait until next year to do the surgery. The doctor also said if we want Tommy to have surgery now, he can b/c he shows no signs of it closing and it's highly, highly unlikely for it to close but he would suggest waiting b/c the bigger the heart the easier it is to work on.  I then asked, well if he's still gaining weight at this point next year, would we wait longer? And he said, yes. So basically we were extremely shocked to find out that Tommy will not be having surgery this fall!

We are so grateful and thankful that Tommy is healthy and doesn't have to have surgery yet! There is a part of it that's difficult b/c I was emotionally prepared to schedule his surgery and it will still be looming in the back of my head but I'd much rather my baby be healthy and not need surgery yet. And I will continue to hope and pray that the Lord will close the second hole in Tommy's heart!

We go back in 6 months and from what we were told today, as long as he continues to gain weight we are in the clear for a little while longer. And to make sure I am clear, b/c some people were confused by a text I sent earlier today, Tommy still needs surgery, he just doesn't have to have it yet.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying and please continue to!

Mushy Monday on a Tuesday!

I went to bed early last night so I didn't get to post my mushyness! Well this week I had some emotional challenges with Tommy's cardiologist appointment approaching. This year we had a sermon on sharing your burdens with other Christians and asking them to help bear your burdens. This is something that is out of my comfort zone but I felt very burdened by the anxiety of Tommy's appointment. I talked to Kyle about the way I was feeling first. He is an amazing husband and b/c he is so good at helping me bear my burdens he is usually where I stopped.

But this time I did share my burden with my family and friends and I am thankful I did. The Lord has given me a huge peace and I also feel like I don't have to be as worried about showing my true emotions. I strongly prefer not to cry in front of people but as my sweet husband shared with me, I have to get over it b/c I am going to cry about Tommy's surgery in front of people. We both know I will so getting over it now will help me not worry about it then.

God is so good and I am so thankful that Jesus is there to intercede on my behalf. Thank you for praying for us. Specific ways you can pray are for - Tommy that he would be healthy before and after surgery, that the surgery will be successful and he would have a quick recovery, and for our family to have peace and to rely on the Lord and His sovereignty. We are so thankful for good heart surgeons in Louisville & modern medical knowledge and technology to help mend his heart. And that Tommy has been so healthy and has been able to wait so long to have surgery.

I'll post updates on the details we find out next week.

Growing up

It seems like Tommy has grown up a ton in a matter of a couple of weeks. Kyle & I are really enjoying watching him in this stage as he is becoming more independent and so curious! It seems like it's just come out of no where. All of the sudden he just started doing all these fun and toddler-like things.

He doesn't want to be held for a long time (unless he's really sleepy, then he's a snuggle bug), he would rather be on the floor playing with toys and exploring his surroundings. His new big thing is to put his toys inside of his toy drum. He thinks it's so fun! And he is so inquisitive when he does it too. Tommy loves to play with his toys, and things that aren't his toys on the shelves in our family room. By the way Tommy is now 16 months old (have to include that for my memory's sake). I've had to start putting his diapers and his Q-tips on top of the shelves so he won't throw them all over the room. Exploring has also lead to the start of disciplining - he really only gets in trouble for playing with the curtains, playing with cords, and the newest trying to pull standing lamp down. We've moved most cords so he can't reach them but somehow he always seems to find one. He likes to wrap them around himself and tries to chew on them. He initially didn't respond well to "no" at all but he is starting to get the hang of it! If we follow the "no" with a command, like "drop it" or "let it go", he usually follows our instructions. Then I try to praise him but sometimes that sends a mixed signal like it's a game so he starts doing the bad behavior again. But over all I'm so pleased with his improvement in listening to us when we're being stern.

He is talking so much more! He is communicating very well without using any real words! He makes a noise of affirmation when he does want something or he will smile. If he doesn't want something he has a noise that will some day soon turn into "no" and he turns his head away. Sometimes he does the noise and facial expression together, other times it's one or the other. He has been talking a lot more in public now and that's really fun! He tries to tell everyone hi at the grocery store, it comes out "eehh" most of the time, every once in a while it sounds like hi! Grocery shopping probably takes an extra 20 minutes just for Tommy to visit with all his fans at the grocery store. They aren't ever the same people, although I won't be surprised when we start to have new repeat friends b/c he's always so sweet and shows off for people who talk to him. One thing I've learned though is that he likes strangers at a distance. He does not want them to touch him. He'll turn his head away and move away if they try to touch him. I am 100% okay with this! I love watching his interest in people though, it also encourages me to take him places with me even though it may be more work. He will try to yell "eeh" down the aisle to people that are not even aware he's there! So cute!

He now has four molars (two top, and two bottom), one front top tooth and the other is just poking through, two front bottom teeth, and he's still working on more. 

Tommy gets slap happy before he goes to bed and it is sooooooooooooooo fun! He will crack up laughing and it makes me laugh so hard! I absolutely love it! And then I get great snuggling time, that is until Daddy notices that Tommy's tired and ready to cuddle, then he takes him away so he can enjoy it too! I think it's sweet though, I get a lot more time with Tommy through out the week.

He is also starting to try to climb. He's pulling up in his crib like a champ now! I think that's made him a lot stronger. We put a couch cushion on the floor with a toy on top and he likes to get up and get it. He's super close to being on his hands and knees but isn't quite there yet. He will take steps if you hold him under his arms and he'll take some steps if he's holding onto your fingers. Tommy has some new sneakers he's been wearing too, he thinks they're a toy but has adjusted well to them.

We love our sweet boy and enjoy seeing his personality come out more and more all the time!

Mushy Monday & other things going on in our household

Sunday was a great and very busy day. We were all (my parents, Kyle, Tommy, and myself) running on little sleep. Granny Jane had a panic attack late Saturday night and it definitely threw me for a loop because I was there for the worst part of it by myself. But Kyle got Tommy and came down quickly to help and my parents drove quickly because none of us knew what was wrong. But what Granny really needed was my mom and dad and then she started to calm down immediately. The Lord is so kind to us in our situation of living just a few houses down from Gran. Granny's had shingles for a couple of weeks now and between the pain of that and being cooped up in the house taking strong medicine, we think it got to be too much for her to handle. Anyway Sunday was an already planned busy fun day, so less sleep made seem a little busier. First, Kyle and I worked in the nursery with the 1-4 year olds but we also got to work with a couple of other guys since we combined the ages, so that was definitely nice and made the load lighter for us all. It was especially nice for me because I felt like I got to talk to more adults and to get to know the guys a little better. Then we had a birthday lunch for my dad! He turned 57 this year. My mom made a DELICIOUS lunch - roast, potatoes, carrots, squash, mashed potatoes, gravy, hawaiin rolls! MMMMMMMMM! So good! And for dessert we had Blue Belle Vanilla Ice Cream and a double cookie cake (aka - double doozie) from Sam's! For my dad's birthday we got him an assortment of teas from the Asian Grocery store near our house. He's a big tea fan. So far he's enjoyed tasting them all. His favorites are the Chrysthamum Honey and the Artichoke tea. I couldn't begin to tell you their real names?! After lunch Tommy & I went to celebrate the coming of his BFF Cameron David Lewis. We went to a baby shower for my best friend Sarah/Critter. It was so fun to get to see so many friends and the shower was beautiful. The food looked so good but I was STUFFED from lunch so I didn't try any. Tommy had some though and greatly approved.

All in all Sunday was a very eventful and fun, family, friend filled day! I LOVED getting to rub and pat Critter's belly and Cameron always kicks nice and strong so I can feel him! I love pregnant bellies! My sister Jeanne has one too and I go crazy over it when I see it!

Tommy is now 16 months old. It's a very fun stage but I'm feeling a little lost. Mainly in the sleep department. He's been at a weird, in between 1 and 2 nap stage. Well this week I tried making the transition to one long nap...it's come back to bite me in the butt. He now thinks he only needs one, one hour nap! AAAAAAAH! No way jose'! So tonight he went to bed early and we'll try again tomorrow. That's all I can do, go with the flow and try to get him back on nap schedule. Tommy has gotten way more curious lately and is exploring lots of things. He is actually learning discipline very well at this point (I hope it lasts). It's taken a good month/month and a half for it to sink in. Sometimes he will respond very well to a stern "NO" and other times it takes a little more. He still thinks "NO" is a funny word. But I am so thankful that he's beginning to take me more seriously. I always praise him when he does well and he loves that. Tommy has started wearing shoes. Not all the time but we're getting him acquainted and he's had no problem with them (apparently some kids do). He thinks they're a toy and he looks like such a BIG BOY in those little tennis shoes. I love his little socks b/c they look just like Kyle's but in miniature form! So cute! Oh another area I'm lost with him recently is eating?! He's a super good eater but he's becoming more finicky about it. He'll have days where he will hardly eat and drink anything and it makes me very uneasy. Obviously he isn't going to starve but for some reason I feel like he is. And I know he'll eat when he's hungry but it does worry me when it happens. He lost a few ounces at his last DR.'s appointment and it made me a little concerned about his heart. But we got to the cardiologist in a couple of weeks so we'll find out then. As that appointment gets closer the more anxious I feel about it. The anticipation of finding out news, unless I know it will be good, is usually harder on me than the actual news itself. I continue to pray every night, asking the Lord to heal Tommy's heart if that be His will and I hope that it is His will. I know God can do miracles but I don't think the hole has or will heal. You can feel Tommy's heart beat is different, it has some extra swooshing/beat to it and the cardiologist told me last time that's the overflow of blood into the other side of his heart through the hole. I still feel it but I'd be more than thankful for God to surprise me and heal it!

Kyle is about to start back to school, he is enrolled in three classes but may drop one. He's going to go to all three this week and depending on the workload and our finances he may drop one. This would be the best semester for him to take less b/c Tommy's surgery is anticipated for the fall. I love my husband and how he has his priorities straight. I can't remember if I wrote about this before or not. Anyway, I asked him if he thought he should take less classes b/c of Tommy's surgery and he said he hadn't thought about it. And then I said, well as long as I'm at the hospital you can go to class and work as long as nothing is wrong. Assuredly he responded without a second thought, "If you and Tommy are in the hospital there's no way I'm going to class. My grades aren't that important." He is so good at putting us before other things. I always know I can rely on him.

My mushy moment would be taking my baby shoe shopping for the first time! We were walking through Payless looking for something to go with his shoes b/c of their BOGO sale. I was trying to find some shoes for me and as I walked down the aisle Tommy kept kissing me on the cheek, unprompted. So very sweet. He's so precious and he loves me so much. I'm glad he does! Because I love him so much. While Tommy may not remember anything about me taking care of him at this age, we've laid the foundation of our relationship that he will remember. He knows I love him and I'm here to take care of him. He's my baby. And I'm glad he is!

Great Video of Tommy!

This video is long but so so so very sweet! In the past week Tommy has started clapping and has gotten  alot better at playing peek-a-boo. In this video he claps and is helping me yell "YAY!", he shows us how big he is, he shows us how old he is, and he plays peek-a-boo! So sweet! The only thing I didn't get on here was him shaking my hand, one of his newest and cutest skills! Oh and Tommy is 16 months old today! I LOVE this video, and hope you do too!

P.S. I watched this video on the computer to check out the audio and also to see how annoying I sounded in it :) Tommy watched it too, he was laughing at himself, clapping when he did things in the video, responding to me asking him to clap and do "SO BIG" in the video. It was HILARIOUS! We will take a video of him watching his own video soon! He is at such a fun stage, but then again when he's not teething he's always at a fun stage!

Mushy Monday

So I have lots of things I want to use for my Mushy Monday post. I'll tell you all of the things I have been so thankful for lately but there is one that I'll focus on more at the end.

This weekend we celebrated my precious niece's, Eliza Jane's, first birthday! I LOVE getting to be together with all of our family! I dearly love my sisters and my parents, and all the in-laws (brothers, parents, boyfriends (shout out to Dave!). I wish we could all be together more often. We only live about 2 hours away but with conflicting work schedules and new little ones being added it makes the trips a little more difficult. But I'm so glad that our family loves each other. Not everybody has that, and I think we take it for granted how blessed we are! Love you all!

I've also loved my immediate family (Kyle and Tommy) time lately. Today was an all day Pajama day! Mandated by me late last night b/c we've been so busy doing stuff lately we needed a day off. So everyone had to stay in their pj's all day. I was lazy purposefully b/c I know the rest of this week is busy too so I wanted some down time and it was very nice.

The number one thing and my mushy post for this Monday is that the Lord has granted me a new peace that I have been needing for a while.  As Tommy gets older it is getting to be a bigger struggle for me that he is so far behind physically and developmentally. To be honest the physical part is harder for me than the developmental. I know he is extremely bright so the developmental part I am far more comfortable with. But recently I've seen lots of younger babies doing so much more than Tommy and it started to weigh heavy on my heart.

You would think that knowing it is normal and expected of children with Down Syndrome to be behind this way would give me comfort. In some ways it does, b/c I know there isn't something wrong with him, but in other ways it doesn't comfort me at all. We have and continue to work so hard at helping him learn these things but there is only so much you can do. And I know that's with any child but it's different when you are experiencing it and struggling with moving forward.

I am extremely grateful for all that Tommy can do and I know that in time he will learn to do all the things we are working on now and so much more. But I'd like it to be easier for Tommy and honestly for me too. Not completely out of laziness, though I wouldn't argue that has some part of it, but just to be able to enjoy where he is and allow him to be a normal 15 month old baby/toddler, without the looming thoughts of, "Is this activity working his stomach muscles? Or how can we get him on his hands and knees without him throwing a huge fit? Or is that toy teaching him anything?"

Well this week I babysat for a sweet boy from church who is a little younger than Tommy. He is quite a bit bigger than Tommy and is doing a lot more. I whole heartily want Tommy to be around kids of all ages and who are able to do all kinds of things, because it's a great encouragement for him to learn how as well. But at first when the boys were playing together, my heart just ached for Tommy, b/c I wanted him to be able to do all these things that the other little boy could do. He was playing with Tommy's toys the way we try to show Tommy how to play with them - like beating the drum with the drumstick, dancing to music, putting the top to the block bucket on the block bucket with everything inside and he could clap, crawl, walk, and run. And I just was thinking, I want that for Tommy.

Now this struggle of being sad over where Tommy is physically didn't start with this visit, but it definitely surfaced again here. It's hard to explain but there was also a guilt that went along with the sad feeling for Tommy. Because I was jealous of all the things these other kids can do. And that is where the Lord gave me an amazing peace that day. God reminded me that by desiring those things for Tommy, I am not wishing he wasn't my son or saying I'm not satisfied with him, I am simply wanting more for him. Because I can very clearly tell you I don't like/love any other kid or baby in the world more than I do Tommy. And there are always things about Tommy and his personality that I will prefer over someone else's child. (I don't say that to be mean, other people's children are wonderful, but they aren't my baby and I don't know them like I know my Tommy.)


I hope this is making sense, it's one of those things that's hard to express b/c there is so much involved. To sum it up the Lord gave me the peace of understanding that I love Tommy as my son, and that has nothing to do with his physical development. As the Lord reveals more and more of Tommy's personality, we see attributes in him that we love and cherish, that other kids don't have and that our future kids may not have b/c they aren't Tommy. Our love for Tommy grows deeper as we know him more.

Words can't express how much peace this understanding has brought to me. I feel like a huge burden has been lifted off my shoulders and that I can rejoice with others in what their children are doing, as opposed to selfishly feeling sad for myself. Now don't get me wrong, I'll still be jealous that Tommy's not doing it but a good kind of jealous - desiring it for him. I pray that the Lord will continue to be glorified in Tommy's life and to continue to use these trials to sharpen me and grow me closer to Him.

Meals for this week and next...

So our meal plan is a little off this week and next - it should be good for me though b/c I shouldn't need to go to the store (at least for a big trip) next week. We have six options.
1.)Pot Roast, potatoes, carrots, and rolls (still haven't done this one b/c we had too many leftovers so I froze the roast)
2.)Crockpot Lasagna (didn't do this last week b/c my hubby surprised me with our 2nd honeymoon)
3.)Chicken Fajitas (a favorite that we haven't had in a couple of weeks)
4.)My mom's vegetable soup (freezing the leftovers)
5.)Jalapeno Popper Creamy Sandwiches (first time try, got 5 stars) I'll probably add a little bacon to it as someone suggested in their comments
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/jalapeno-popper-grilled-cheese-sandwich/detail.aspx
6.)Baked BBQ chicken, shells'n'cheese, crescent rolls

My mom's veggie soup (so good - way better than what I tried to make before)
She boils her beef first, but we don't actually care for the meat in the soup but we like the flavor. So I'll be using beef stock. She fills a big pot up about 3/4 of the way with water (I think, I'll have to check with her on this) puts salt and pepper. I'll add beef stock. 1 can peas with the juice. 1 can corn, drained. 1 can green beans, drained. 1 can carrots drained.1 potato. 1 can tomato sauce. YUMMY! We like to put tobasco sauce on it. Have I mentioned we like spicy food?! See meal option 5!!! I feel like there is probably more to this soup than I know so I'll double check with my mom but this is what she told me! I should probably apologize to my mom too - I was such a picky eater when I was little, now I LOVE her food. So glad my tastebuds have matured. Love you mom!

Mom call and tell me if this recipe is wrong or missing something. Thanks! And I'll correct the recipe on here if I'm wrong.

By the way the more I do this the more I LOVE it! I find cooking to be much easier. I know when I need to look for easier recipes. To be honest I haven't done any really hard ones. I actually am prefering to eat at home as opposed to out for probably the first time in my life. I like being in control of what we're having and being able to change it if we don't like it. I hate paying for fast food or even restaurant food and then not really enjoying it. I feel like the Lord has blessed my efforts to serve our family in this way and I'm grateful for it. It may sound silly but it truly is a blessing to enjoy cooking and eating with my family.

Belated Mushy Monday

This mushy post is late b/c I was on a romantic getaway, a second honeymoon, with my hubby! I've decided every trip we go on, just the two of us, will be dubbed an additional honeymoon! We would really like to visit all of the United States within our lifetime, together. We'll see if that can happen. So far we've been to four...wah wah. Lord willing, we'll be able to increase that number! Well it's pretty obvious that is what I want to remember from this week. We went to a modern bed and breakfast at the Abbey Inn in Nashville, IN. We wouldn't really be into the old timey, antique B&B. However ours did not come with breakfast. Kyle and I are like a couple of elementary age kids - we get lots of junk food, rent lots of movies, and stay up late and sleep in for fun. That's our version of a good time. Oh and we had a hot tub in our room! AMAZING! We've decided we love this for a short get away. We watched a movie from the hot tub. FUN! But it was a very refreshing break, especially for me. Kyle was so intentional about being romantic and sweet. He's romantic and sweet a lot, but he was the kind of romantic and sweet that I enjoy (which requires more self-control and being intentional on his part). By self-control I mean, not constantly joking around. That is Kyle's nature, I love it & I appreciate it, but sometimes I want him to be serious. And he was. And I LOVED it. It lasted about half of the trip, which is a really long time for him. I told him I thought about when we were dating, how he was sweet like that a lot more, but he didn't live with me, so he got breaks from the "serious" sweetness. He could go hang out with this friends and goof off and then come back and be sweet again to me. But I like his goofiness too. It's his way of flirting with me and I like that he still flirts with me after four years of marriage. However, we have some serious talks about what "flirting" is. I am laughing as I'm writing this too, b/c once again we're like elementary school kids. By picking on me and being "mean" (jokingly) Kyle thinks he's flirting with me. Haha I secretly love that he thinks that way, b/c it's so him and I love him. (Don't worry about him finding out me secretly loving it, he wouldn't even think about reading this blog, he forgot I had it the other day.) Anyway, he makes me laugh a lot (even when I'm mad at him, which is counterproductive at proving my point that he's making me mad). Kyle is a wonderful man and I thank the Lord that He blessed me with such a husband. And such a good looking husband at that! There are so many things that I love and appreciate about him, I won't start to list them (not now anyway) but I definitely want to remember this trip in all my years to come. I hope all our future honeymoons are comparable to this one.